


Nott Alone

by Mightybignein (Blueberryshortcake)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Frumpkin gets eaten, Gen, Hope, Introspection, Mother-Son Relationship, Nott and Caleb's Backstory, Nott's Dysphoria, Nott's POV, Pre-Stream (Critical Role), but he's fine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 04:24:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16590806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueberryshortcake/pseuds/Mightybignein
Summary: She wasn’t an adverb of failure to him. To him she was very strong and very smart and very fast. Very Brave.





	Nott Alone

It seemed like a strange sort of dream…

 

Nott had always been alone.

 

First when she was small, she had a lot of family. A lot of other goblins surrounding her, but she was different. There was no place for her. 

 

And when for the brief time there was Yeza and she didn’t feel so alone she was still alien. She wasn’t under any illusions of that. No matter what she did she was still a goblin. When they ran they seperated. He didn’t look for her. Why should he?

 

But it had been a week, and the clever human was curled by the fire across from her. When they had escaped he followed her. When they were safe he smiled at her tentatively. He didn’t separate from her, he just...he...

 

He smiled at her. 

 

No one ever smiled at her like that. Even Yeza there was always a bit of fear… a bit of knowing, a flash of guilt in his eyes because Yeza felt bad for seeing her for the monster she was. Everyone was always very aware that she was a goblin. 

 

Except for this guy. This guy didn’t seem aware of it at all. He spoke to her gently, he smiled at her, he asked for her ideas and he actually…

 

Depended on her. No one had ever done that before even when she wanted them to. Nott was always so useless. She was Nott because she was not strong, not helpful, not brave. 

 

“You are very strong,” The human complimented her in his strange soft accented common. 

 

And it seemed like… well he had to be the one to walk away, or kick her away, so she trailed along beside him, but he didn’t say anything negative. Later, coming to know Caleb she wouldn’t be surprised if Caleb thought the same. That she would be the one to walk away or chase him off.

 

But neither did. They worked well together, so they would see how it would go a little while longer.

 

She stared at him across the fire. He woke up and didn’t startle. There was only a soft surprised look. The same reaction she had when she woke up. Still here. Not gone.

 

“Hello, friend. How was your sleep?” He was the one always starting conversations. Like he was trying to remember how to be polite. As if anyone worried about being polite to a goblin. 

 

“Alright,” She answered. “...How about you, Caleb?”

 

“Good, good,” He nodded running a hand through messy hair. They were both hungry, but neither mentioned it. 

 

“I think there is a town nearby here you know,” The human said slowly. Nott looked up at him curiously. A knot formed in her stomach. This was it. This was when they parted ways. He would go back to normal people and leave her alone and hungry in the woods.

 

He scratched his scruffy face. “I think we could make it before sundown if we head out soon.”

 

“We? As in both of us?” She blinked.

 

He stiffened, and seemed to shrink into himself. “Oh… ja… well… I suppose I had just thought that maybe…”

 

A wave of protectiveness rose in her chest. An instinct to comfort. 

 

“No! I mean, I’d love to! Except! Well… towns don’t like creatures like me…” She admitted. She didn’t want his feelings hurt, but she would only make trouble for him. 

 

Caleb relaxed a little. Nodded. Thought about it. “You have your mask, I saw you use it on the road before…”

 

“It doesn’t work for long. One close look and people figure out pretty quickly I’m not a halfling or a child,” She sighed. 

 

“But, maybe it’s because you are alone. People pay more attention to people who are by themselves. If you are with me then less people would question you, wouldn’t they?”

 

“Because what sane person would hang out with a goblin,” Nott said dryly. 

 

Caleb tilted his head. “I’m not... I mean…” His brow furrowed. “You aren’t wrong maybe…” He said, but it wasn’t in an unkind way… just a knowing way. Like he knew how cruel people could be. “Why not use that against them?”

 

Not fidgeted. “What if they figure it out and hurt you?”

 

“People aren’t fond of people like me either,” Caleb said. “We should… we can try. We both need food, and you said you needed booze, and I would like some books. We got the purse of copper the guard left behind… let’s try.”

 

He doesn’t want to be alone, Nott realized. He had to be desperate if he was looking to a goblin for company, but… it was sort of… endearing and sweet. 

 

“Alright, Caleb, we can try. I don’t think it’ll go well though, but we can try.”

 

-

It did work. It worked really really well.

 

They walked on the street and she pulled her cloak up and rolled her ears and when anyone payed them more than a glance Caleb would reach down and take her hand in his. She covered her face behind her cloak so that he wouldn’t notice her blush. Tried hard not to squeeze his hand and cut him with her claws, but it was so…

 

It was so nice, it was just…

 

Not even Yeza had ever held her hand like this. 

 

And when the half-elf had called Caleb a bum and shoved him she slammed her foot hard into the bastard’s thigh because that was HER human who was kind and very very smart and didn’t deserve any unkind thing to happen to him. 

 

They ran out of town, but they weren’t run out of town, and they had been able to steal more coin and even some meat and bread.

 

It was one of the very best days of her entire life. 

 

-

 

“I’m so sorry Caleb! I was just so hungry!” Nott cried. 

 

She had done it now. She had ruined everything. 

 

She had been so hungry, she was STILL so hungry, but was distracted in her guilt and misery. She quietly sobbed into her hands because he would leave her now. He loved that cat he LOVED him. 

 

“What’s the matter?” Caleb came to her, confused and tense, maybe expecting bandits or other nasty things. Instead it was just Nott with blood and orange fur on her face, but nothing else.

 

“He just!! I must have ate all of him I don’t even remember, it’s all a blur. I’m sorry. I was just going to eat his tail I swear, but now he’s gone. OH CALEB.”

 

“Did you…” Caleb wore the strangest expression on his face. “Did you eat Frumpkin?”

 

Nott hung her head, tears streamed down her face. 

 

“Nott… Nott, it’s alright. I don’t think he appreciated it very much, but he has a good sense of humour about this sort of thing.”

 

She sniffed looking up at him in confusion. Her human had shown himself to be a bit odd, but this was pushing it some. “Huh?”

 

“Frumpkin is alright,” Caleb knelt down beside her. He tentatively patted her back. “Remember when I told you that he is a cat, but is also magic? When he gets hurt he poofs to another place. I can bring him back… well… I need things to bring him back, but he’s not gone forever.” 

 

“He’s not?? But I … I thought I must have eaten him all.” She rubbed her face quickly trying to get rid of the fur and blood. “I--I didn’t know, but I… I’m sorry I know you love him, I shouldn’t have hurt him like that. I’m just…” She drooped, her stomach rumbled loudly. 

 

“I wish you hadn’t done that,” Caleb said. “But I wish you had told me how hungry you were more. You said you were fine when you let me finish the bread.”

 

She had lied. Caleb had been so weak last night, and he was much bigger. He had needed it more than her.

 

“I didn’t think I was hungry enough to try and eat your cat,” Nott said. She didn’t usually eat cats. They were hard to catch, but Frumpkin had been the only fresh meat in the woods other than Caleb and she wasn’t going to eat Caleb!

 

Caleb gave her a few more firm pats. “Ja… okay… well it’s fine. For now we will have to get you food, Frumpkin can wait.” 

 

“But he’s your… you love that cat.”

 

Caleb smiled fondly at her. “Frumpkin is fine, you are not. Let’s go find some sort of breakfast, Ja?”

 

“Yeah… okay,” She wiped her eyes. “Alright Caleb. I think I got a bit of his tail, I do feel a little better…” 

 

Caleb gave her a pained look, but helped her back up.

 

When they got Frumpkin back he was a little weary towards her, but didn’t seem to hold it against her either. 

 

-

 

It was pretty early on that she started of thinking of Caleb as her responsibility. Caleb was smart. He made very good plans, and he even did magic, but he was not very strong. He didn’t take a hit well, and Nott, well… Nott was used to being hit and kicked. And lots of times people ran away as soon as they saw her face. It made sense to put herself between Caleb and danger. It made sense to make sure he had enough food and water. Made sure that he got rest as well as books. He wasn’t very good at taking care of himself. He was very good at hiding, he was very good with people when he had to force himself to be, he was amazing with magic, but he was terrible with looking after himself. 

 

So that was Nott’s job. Nott was needed. Nott was wanted. Nott was, for the first time in so long, happy. She treated him like how she had desperately wanted to be treated when she was small. With kindness and understanding and love. So much love. A proper mother’s love because if she couldn’t have it then her Caleb would. 

 

She started giving into silly fantasies at night when they were curled up together. That she would protect him and look after him and he would grow stronger and stronger. Become some sort of Grand Wizard or a Duke or even a King. And he would grant her a boon for all the help she gave him. And he would fix her. 

 

The more time they traveled together the more it seemed possible some days. Somedays it didn’t of course. Some days were very very bad, but they were always better than the before, and there were bright days too. Days where he held her hand, talked about cats or books or magic spells, and she would listen, delighted because he was talking to her. 

 

Mattering. 

 

She wasn’t an adverb of failure to him. To him she was very strong and very smart and very fast. Very Brave.

 

He was a good boy, and days like that she could see him becoming better and better. He didn’t even mind the second time she tried to eat his cat. 

 

She wasn’t someone who believed in destiny or fate, but when thinking of her future Caleb was always there beside her. 

 

And she was Not Alone. 


End file.
